SUICIDE AIN’T NO JOKE!

Photo by Barry Weatherall on Unsplash

The only reason why “I” don’t end it all because of my new strength and faith in my growth in Nichiren Buddhism.

It is the only way to make sense with me in my travels through life although I have slipped from my studies, chanting and shakabukuing. Now I am firmly rooted in my studies and feel the urge to do way with the thought of ending it all. Although the forces of it may seem overbarring more now than ever.

I couldn’t bring myself to do it because one - I felt it is cowardest — if that’s even a word. Two — I don’t want to be lost in transition and return as something with little to no purpose in the next life or come back as something living other than human form. Three — I’m not completely done with my journey in this life time.

I vow to help bring peace to the world and inspire the youth to be a positive force in life as we know it.

There are six major things I fight against that I battle with on the daily and chanting again helps me through it all.

1. Wanting to make my wife happy and proud of me and do right by her without all the notions of my past thrown at me. Although I am human and not perfect. She’s a great woman indeed, we’re from two different worlds.
2. My personality always clashing with one another, the voice of voices, it’s crazy, am I crazy? Na, it’s life, I’m human, or am I…